Real Life Happens

It was my week of hard things happening. Things went wrong, but not necessarily enough to warrant time off from work or responsibilities. You have a horrible fight with your spouse. Your car won’t start and you don’t know how you will get to work. So what to do? For myself, I usually try and go about my duties the best I can and hope I don’t end up with tears in my eyes at some inopportune moment. But really, what to do?

It’s been on my mind a lot recently. Life was hard this week, and I wasn’t coping with my normal grace. I felt stressed, un-centered, and like one more thing might push me over the edge. My world felt like it was in turmoil, yet I still need to help my patients, be present, and make good clinical decisions. So how do I get through the day without breaking down in tears?

The amazing thing has been that people have shown me extreme kindnesses. Is it a wavelength that we all put out that is a universal language? Or maybe those small things happen to help us ground, get connected again and move forward. It’s hard to say. No matter the reason, I am thankful for the small kindnesses this week.

I made a pledge to have gratitude towards life so this is it. In an extremely challenging time, I am thankful for the small kindnesses shown me by others. The small things are what have made me able to keep my sanity and get through it with more grace than I could have imagined. I forget to ask for help. In fact, I am awful at it. I can try and sugar coat it and say I do, but I don’t. I think if I ask, it makes me more vulnerable when someone says no.

The reality is that most people like to help and contribute. Yet so many of us have this bad habit of not asking for help, support, or love when we need it. Why is that? I think it stems more from a cultural illness that reinforces that it’s not okay to need from others. And I think overall this thinking is bad for us. We are all social creatures and at one time or another in all of our lives, we need someone else to help us get through our day. I see it in my practice all the time. A person surrounded by community and family, yet they are unable to ask for help. And I think we women are particularly bad at it.

So for those of you that paid me kindness recently, thank you for it. I am grateful.

And I will also pay it forward to others that don’t expect it. It really does start with each one of us.

What will you do this week to help someone stand tall?