I awoke at 7am in California to find my daughter, in Washington, has a high fever that has returned. We don’t want to expose our nanny to a high fever and illness. Dad has already missed two days of work, which is a big deal when you own the company. What is a mom to do? This mom is writing this blog as I sit on an airplane to fly home to my daughter.
I found myself welling up with tears this morning as I was changing my flight. I travel to see patients in person once a month, and the rest of the time, I do phone and video visits. So, my days in the office are numbered, and often quite busy. This morning I found myself in a conundrum of so many working moms. What do you do when you have sick kids, but are the only one who can do your job? You take care of your kids.
The tears were about not flying home yesterday before things got worse, and giving my husband some relief. My tears were from knowing that I was not going to be able to help my patients today and they will have to wait to talk to me. They were about the stress for both patients and staff to have extra work to reschedule.
What would I do next time? Would I do anything different? The answer is I would choose my family again. The reality of being a working mom who loves her job is tough. We have to make those hard choices often, ones that are not easy in the moment. Working moms have arduous choices, and you choose the best options you can in the minute. I’m not sure the mom guilt, the guilt for not being able to help my husband, or the guilt for not being there for my patients today goes away. I suppose this is just a reminder that us moms are doing the best we can to keep everyone happy, cared for, and healthy. So today, the choice was to go home to relieve my husband, and snuggle my kiddo through her illness. And, I hope someday, our society also does a better job of supporting working families so these choices don’t feel so hard.